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[tendtoenunciate]

This Is Kanaya Maryams Livejournal
Or It Was But Then It Transformed Into A Dreamwidth When I Wasnt Looking
Im Still Not Entirely Clear On How That Happened

I Have Taken The Courtesy Of Not Speaking In My Blood Color Or The Standard Font To Display Cultural Sensitivity
Though If You Want To Converse In The Fashion To Which I Am Most Accustomed That Would Be Fine
If You Would Like Me Not To Represent My Enunciation Textually That Would Also Be Acceptable Though I Would Prefer Not To All Things Being Equal
It Causes Me Moderate Strain

Anonymous Commenting Is Enabled For The Use Of Anyone Unable To Register An Account Here

They Arent Screened Because That Would Be Somewhat Troublesome For Actually Conducting Conversations With Anonymous Browsers
But The Logging Of Addresses Following The Four-Point Specifications Of This Grubnet Is Off As Well
So I Hope You Are At Comfort

My Profile Contains The Means Of Connecting To Trollian With Me If Desired
Thats All

Comments

[dicey]

I guess I'm just worried things are going to be awkward! And you could probably convince Hanna that it'd be better for me if he left me behind, and he's so stupidly selfless that he'd do it. So I'm worried about that, too.

[speakveryclearly]

What. No!

I would never do that. I want what is actually best for you and think you can decide that for yourself instead of me.

If I did want to make decisions for you, then I might have stayed your moirail. But I never had the strength of will for it.

[dicey]

... I don't really want to break your heart either. That's another thing.

[speakveryclearly]

Don't worry about that anymore. You already did that.

[dicey]

Kanaya!

[speakveryclearly]

Tavros, alright!

And that's ignoring all the independent heartbreaking issues in the future...

My point is that's no longer a concern.

[dicey]

Yeah, no longer a concern in some shitty passive-aggressive way because I already broke it.

Independent heartbreaking issues? Like what?

[speakveryclearly]

In the future the matriorb blows up, so if I come to Adstringendum there won't be any race rebuilding concerns to keep you with me anyway.

[dicey]

Racebuilding wouldn't keep me anywhere, I don't give a shit about that. I care more about you than racebuilding.

[speakveryclearly]

I know, but it's just always been my excuse to find a way for wanting you to stay and not be selfish.

[dicey]

It's a shitty reason. You had to know I wouldn't care.

What are you going to do if you come and you find out I live with him? That's pretty weird for trolls. But I guess I live with other people too, so...

[speakveryclearly]

It's going to be so different when I come. I'll have punched your future self in the face, and also seen her corpse; and--

I'm not really... her yet, if that can make sense.

In general, speaking as any troll, the fact he's your moirail helps. I don't think cohabitation is a weird thing for conciliatory couples to do.

[dicey]

It seems weird to me, but I like it anyway.

We share a room, too.

[human terms!!!]

[speakveryclearly]

Do you sleep in the same... bed?

That is entering slightly weirder territory. Not that I can judge considering my predilection for watching my lovers sleep.

[dicey]

Yeah, we do. That's a human thing too, but Axel said usually only family members and people having sex do it.

[speakveryclearly]

I do not know very much about human family members but from what I do understand that makes some sense.

[dicey]

You just don't have sex with family members. Remember that!

So would you freak out about us sleeping together? ... Not in the human euphemism way.

[speakveryclearly]

...That's not exactly the kind of thing I would like to hear, but I can certainly think of worse things.

[dicey]

[...]

Maybe I really am destined to just not be friends with you.

[speakveryclearly]

I didn't mean it like that.

Can this not be that kind of conversation. I thought we'd been doing really well, against all the odds, at not having that kind of conversation.

[dicey]

Well, it's true! If things are going to be awkward forever and you're not going to stop bitterly wanting more from me, this ain't going to work out.

[speakveryclearly]

Can you really say that we meaningfully could work out like this. You know what... where we are.

In the future things will be... very different, and honestly it is rather hard to want more from somebody who you had accepted was dead. I keep not wanting to say that because I don't want it to be true or fall into the trap of acting like it means anything for you - because you're not that girl who died. But I do get over that troll who did die. In the future.

That all happens in the future and it's very difficult to talk about really. I'm not much of a roleplayer. I don't very often sketch out hypothetical scenarios and how they would play out.

Will you be happy to see me? You don't have to answer that, but it's the kind of question you're asking.

That's not as good an example, I guess, since you would have the same history and it's an overall less thorny concept.

[dicey]

Yeah. I'd be happy to see you, Kanaya. Really happy.

But I think we might be destined to be kismeses.

[speakveryclearly]

Do you want me to be that troll...

I. Don't know if I want to be that troll.

[dicey]

No. I don't hate you at all.